Friday, February 27, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/27)

Not to be too critical already, but President Obama’s administration if about as transparent as a Joaquin Phoenix press conference.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/26)

Police in Italy arrested a transvestite mob boss. He’s known as the Oddfather.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/25)

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig said Alex Rodriguez will have to live with the damage he’s done to his name and reputation. Then again, so does everybody else who dates Madonna.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/24)

Last week President Obama signed the $787 billion stimulus bill. It’s the most anybody's spent at one time who wasn't shopping from a Sky Mall catalog.

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/23)

Arkansas lawmakers approved a bill that allows concealed guns in churches. That should get more money in the collection plate.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/19)

Kentucky Fried Chicken’s hand written recipe was moved to a high-tech vault. It’s the most talked-about way to cook a bird, if you don’t have a jet engine.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/17)

Former Dodgers outfielder Andruw Jones signed with the Texas Rangers. He made the move because of their hitting coach; and their pastry chef.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/16)

The Smithsonian Institution wants Aretha Franklin’s inauguration hat. They’d even provide the tractor-trailer to move it there.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/13)

On Groundhog Day, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was bitten by a groundhog named Chuck. He was told there’s no risk of rabies; so Chuck bit him.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/12)

British scientists say excessive chatting by teenage girls on Facebook can lead to depression. Then again, so can asparagus.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/11)

McDonald’s profits are up 80 percent, so it’s likely the deficit won’t be the only thing expanding.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/5)

The President's proposed stimulus bill is over $900 billion. Or as the Yankees call it, a signing bonus.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/4)

Economists report that profits are down for porn, strippers, and gambling. Last week Congress got a bailout request from Satan.

**
Upon Further Review:

Maybe I'm not seeing it, but there seems to be a lack of data supporting how beneficial porn, strippers, and gambling are to society. While those vices do provide material for writing Charles Barkley lines, I'm not sad to see them struggling. If people want to gamble they should gamble on their own ability. Or buy stock in General Motors.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/3)

McDonald's is planning to open 1,000 new stores worldwide next year. It's their plan to create more jobs…in cardiology.

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Least You Should Know (2/2)

Britney Spears signed a book deal to write her life’s story. Proceeds will benefit a charity she started – Kevin Federline.