Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/30)

The Education Secretary thinks American children should be in class six days a week. On the seventh day teachers can attend their A.A. meetings.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/29)

Retired Justice Sandra Day O'Connor is creating video games that teach kids about government. The games take 4 people to play, but 3 of them watch.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/28)

Walgreens pulled a Chia Pet in the image of President Obama. So much for his next gift to Queen Elizabeth…

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/27)

General Motors is helping to build a tiny, two-wheeled electric car. It parks easily into a stall, as long as somebody else isn’t in there using the toilet.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/23)

The Center for Disease Control found rocket fuel in some powdered baby formula. It turned out to be part of a new education plan that teaches toddlers to count down from 10.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/23)

Former Utah Jazz guard John Stockton is going to the Hall of Fame. He had more steals than a politician at a school for the blind during Earth Hour.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/21)

A new study reveals that insomnia doubles the risk of suicide. A person can only handle so much Billy Mays at 2 a.m.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/20)

Hugh Hefner celebrated his 83rd birthday surrounded by new and former girlfriends. Dodger Stadium was packed.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/16)

Researchers discovered a drug that may treat kleptomania, a condition where people have the urge to hoard or collect things. Maybe this will keep Madonna away from the orphanage.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/15)

Now that the government is in the car business, President Obama said they'll back warrantees on newly purchased cars. Maybe they should hire David Duke as a mechanic; he’s got experience under the hood.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/14)

A minor league baseball park in Michigan is selling a 4,800-calorie hamburger. It comes with the usual condiments – ketchup, mustard, a colonoscopy…

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/13)

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said the U.S. shares the blame for violence in Mexico because we buy drugs, as evidenced by our fixation on a blanket with sleeves.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/9)

The Supreme Court reviewed a Hillary Clinton documentary that was made by a conservative filmmaker. They were surprised to learn that she took steroids and started a Ponzi scheme.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/8)

President Obama created a task force to study the tax code, already breaking his promise that the U.S. won’t torture.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/7)

According to a new study, it’s safe for an expectant mother to eat during labor. Especially when she has you in a headlock.

Monday, April 06, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/6)

Madonna was denied a bid to adopt a 4-year old girl from Malawi. That's two failed attempts; the last little girl she tried to adopt got caught using steroids.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/2)

According to a new report, only 10 percent of blind Americans can read Braille. It sounds low, but that’s still 10 percent more than politicians who can read a stimulus bill.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Least You Should Know (4/1)

Justice Clarence Thomas believes Americans know their cell phone bills better than the Constitution. The difference is that one of them can only be changed by an act of Congress, and the other one is the Constitution.