Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/30)

A study finds that most Americans have only two close friends. So the other 4 people carrying the casket are there for the funeral luncheon.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/29)

AOL added 200,000 dial-up subscribers in the last year. It was mainly in places where high-speed internet isn’t available, like 1997.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/28)

Iran is reportedly in the final stages of developing nuclear weapons. They’ve picked up the pace since we did the Beavis and Butthead re-boot.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/25)

The View offered to host a GOP presidential debate. That would be a mistake; all they do is gossip and complain, and so do the women on the View.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/24)

The Pentagon plans to put a surveillance blimp over Afghanistan. It’s pure America; not only will it save lives, but the Taliban will know that the aerial shots are provided by Met Life.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/23)

Doomsday predictor Harold Camping is stepping down as head of Family Christian Radio. Somebody sent him a gold retirement watch; now he’s warning that the time has come.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/22)

Time magazine reports that the McRib has 70 ingredients. The sandwich is composed of so many chemicals that they’re re-naming it the McJagger.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/21)

Herman Cain had his best fundraising day ever when the story broke about his sexual harassment allegations. Plus, he got a solid endorsement from Bill Clinton.

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/18)

British scientists created a “super” broccoli that is supposed to improve health. It must be good; it’s recommended by 4 out of 5 dogs under the dinner table.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/17)

Jack Kevorkian’s suicide machine was removed from an auction because it didn’t get a high enough bid. His will specifically stated that the machine should be sold, but only if would make a killing.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/16)

President Obama proposed a plan that makes it easier to pay down student loans. The debt is a huge burden on college graduates; it’s why Beavis and Butthead had to get back into TV.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/15)

A poll found that half of young adults think there won’t be any Social Security by the time they retire. On the bright side, they won’t have to worry about ever retiring.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/14)

An 11-year-old boy-genius is enrolled in his freshman year at the University of Minnesota. He started reading books when he was very young, according to the sonogram.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/11)

Muammar Gaddafi was buried in an unknown location. It won’t be a secret for long; with so many ways to spell his name he’ll have the world’s largest headstone.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/10)

The birth rate in California is the lowest since the Great Depression. It’s a result of the poor economy and the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t hired a new maid.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/9)

McDonald’s is launching an in-store TV channel. They’re also changing their menu; the French fries will be made from specially cut couch potatoes.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/8)

An environmental group wants to put toilets on Mt. Everest. They would be located inside one of the Starbucks.

Monday, November 07, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/7)

Forbes magazine says that Los Angeles is America’s most stressful city. But only for those who drive, or breathe oxygen.

Friday, November 04, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/4)

Nissan is designing a car that will read the driver's mind. So a lot of people will wind up in the gutter.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/3)

On the Today Show Michelle Obama said that she tries to sneak out of the White House as much as possible. That’s the same thing Bill Clinton used to say.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/2)

Conspiracists think Beyonce and Jay Z are faking her pregnancy because there’s video of her baby bump changing form when she sat down. But that’s likely caused by the baby’s Yankees cap being on sideways.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

The Least You Should Know (11/1)

Wal-Mart and Facebook have a new partnership. Talk about a force; it's the world’s largest interactive social experiment, combined with Facebook.