Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Jesus Joins Twitter, Only Has 12 Followers

As I sat at 2:26 a.m. waiting for people to count ballots on the east coast, my mind wandered. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, but I realized how tired I am of the media, in their arrogance and ignorance, and how crooked they are. Then I wondered how today's media might cover stories from the Bible to shape a political message. More to come, but here are a few:

  •  Illnesses blamed on Messiah for providing gluten-filled bread
  • Flood lasting 40 days, 40 nights caused by global warming
  • God creates woman; doesn’t provide equal access to man’s bathroom
  • Creator of the universe punishes man, woman in garden for being vegetarian
  • Coat of many colors likely made from Pride flag
  • Neglected juvenile uses slingshot to stone overweight man


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Thursday, January 28, 2016

Update from Third Grade


 "Daddy, I have two things to tell you about today. First, Cameron Elling won the spelling bee. Second, two kindergartners threw up."

This has been your update from third grade.

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