The Least You Should Know (12/31)

Some people are saying Bernard Madoff’s ponzi scheme is the crime of the century. They must have forgotten about Madonna’s remake of American Pie.

The Least You Should Know (12/30)

Barack Obama said he’s putting together the best basketball-playing cabinet in American history. Abraham Lincoln had a good team; he just didn’t have a shot blocker.

The Least You Should Know (12/29)

Funeral directors are getting requests to bury the deceased with their cell phones. Might as well; you can’t get out of your contract just because you’re dead.

The Least You Should Know (12/28)

Barack Obama said the country doesn’t have any adult supervision. He’s right; somebody let crazy Uncle Sam supervise everything and the deficit got pregnant.

The Least You Should Know (12/24)

Burger King is making cologne that smells like meat. I guess now we have a Christmas present for Michael Vick.

The Least You Should Know (12/23)

The shoe-throwing incident just proves that all journalists like throwing things at presidents. In Iraq they throw shoes at Bush, in America they throw panties at Obama…

The Least You Should Know (12/22)

Inmates at a prison in Texas took hostages after starting a riot and starting a fire. It’s worse than we thought; Oprah’s fans are taking her weight gain pretty hard.

The Least You Should Know (12/19)

Governor Blagojevich tried to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat for $1 million. The President-elect said he’s appalled; that seat was hardly used.

The Least You Should Know (12/18)

Forbes magazine rated Louisiana as the nation’s unhealthiest state. It comes as no surprise considering their state flower is the Bloomin’ Onion.

The Least You Should Know (12/17)

Oprah Winfrey will do her show from Washington during Inauguration week. It'll be a great time for the world to see the most powerful African American in the world. Plus Barack Obama will be there.

The Least You Should Know (12/16)

A restaurant in China is using the image of Saddam Hussein to promote its spicy chicken wings. And be forewarned; these wings definitely have an exit strategy.

They use his image because the wings are guilty of crimes against humanity.

The Least You Should Know (12/15)

Reports are circulating that airports face a shortage of de-icing fluids this winter. Apparently Barack Obama used it all on Hillary Clinton.

The Least You Should Know (12/12)

Wal-Mart reported a profit for the month of November. That’s the advantage of having an in-store medical clinic on Black Friday.

The Least You Should Know (12/12)

NASA said that bag of tools orbiting outside the Space Station will fall to earth soon. You can watch it on C-Span; they have a long tradition of covering tools.

The Least You Should Know (12/10)

Entertainment Weekly released a lineup of the smartest people in television. It’s a list of people who don’t own one.

The Least You Should Know (12/9)

Axl Rose is demanding an apology from Dr. Pepper because their site went down during the Guns N Roses soda giveaway. Dr. Pepper started the apology, and will finish it in 14 years.

The Least You Should Know (12/8)

Now that the movie Twilight is out, everybody’s talking about blood-sucking vampires. But that’s probably because they bailed out Citigroup.

The Least You Should Know (12/5)

Britney Spears told Rolling Stone her 3-year-old son sometimes uses the F-word. But she said the last time was justified because the other driver totally cut him off.

The Least You Should Know (12/4)

Alex Rodriquez reportedly spent Thanksgiving with Madonna. They reenacted the very first Thanksgiving; Madonna brought Syphilis from Europe.

The Least You Should Know (12/3)

Consumer confidence rose in November. But most people feel more confident when they’re drinking.

The Least You Should Know (12/2)

A Canadian court ruled that obese airline passengers can now get 2 seats for the price of one. Not to be insensitive, but maybe the 2-for-1 deals are why they need multiple seats.

The Least You Should Know (12/1)

Environmentalists are designing a toilet that doesn’t flush. You can see a prototype at the nearest gas station.