Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/28)

Through witness testimony, the diseased wife of alleged murderer Drew Peterson testified from the grave. ACORN also let her cast a vote.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/27)

Troubled NBA guard Stephon Marbury signed a deal with a Chinese league basketball team. Like the New Jersey Nets, he hasn’t played professionally since last season.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/25)

Researchers in Connecticut who are working on a 4,000 year-old mummy are tyring to unlock secrets of its past. So they’re making it run for public office.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/21)

Astronomers are discussing a mystery object that whizzed by the Earth last week. Turns out it was Harry Reid’s approval numbers.

Whatever it was missed us by 80,000 miles, so it looks like those Northwest Airlines pilots are working again.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/20)

A study finds that compared to the average citizen, NBA players are more likely to be assaulted and tied up. But the players don’t care as long as the referees call a foul.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/19)

When learning that Vice President Joe Biden’s mom died Americans were both sad and surprised. Sad at her passing and surprised to learn Joe Biden is still the Vice President.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/18)

The White House is reluctant to let C-Span air the health care debate. They think Warren Beatty would feel inferior if he saw how many people are in bed with Harry Reid.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/14)

Holiday shopping by cell phone tripled this year, according to a report from eBay and the Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/13)

Counterterrorism officials say that extremists are looking for new ways to attack the U.S. You can read the official warning on the label of men’s underwear.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/12)

The government is rushing to get full-body scanners into airports. Say what you will about Obama, but he did promise more transparency.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/7)

An Indiana 5th grader took $10,000 from his grandparents and passed it out to classmates. He learned a valuable life lesson: it’s illegal to give away stolen money until you’re elected.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/6)

Scientists suggest that the ancient Mayans had toilets. No wonder they had so much time to think about the future.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/5)

The down economy is helping General Mills sell more breakfast cereals. Nobody noticed; even with more money they evidently still can’t afford pants for the Trix rabbit.

Monday, January 04, 2010

The Least You Should Know (1/4)

Golfer John Daly lost 100 pounds. So did Tiger Woods, except his is moving to Sweden.