Friday, September 30, 2011

First Lady Spotted at Target, Only Recognized by Cashier Anthony Weiner

ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINA – First Lady Michelle Obama was spotted shopping incognito at Target Thursday. She reportedly spent 30-40 minutes shopping and was only recognized by her cashier, former New York Representative Anthony Weiner.

“I knew right away it was her,” he said. “I have a great eye for detail — except, you know, with social media.”

The Secret Service entered the store about 30 minutes before Mrs. Obama. Weiner said he wasn’t at the register at that time. “I was in the break room chatting up a new part-timer. It was awesome. She’s been busy with college so she hasn’t read much news in the last six months.”

When asked if he talked with the First Lady, Weiner said he didn’t have very much time.

“She only bought a few things.I got some great pictures with my cell phone. After my shift was over I posted them on Twitter.”

The Least You Should Know (9/30)

A study suggests pot smokers have a lower risk of obesity. That’s because they’re late for so many meals.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/28)

Officials in Sweden had to rescue a drunken elk from a tree. The elk's mom opposed; she wanted to let him stay there all night so he could learn his lesson.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/27)

A new report finds that space junk is becoming a serious issue. Astronauts at the International Space Station are just trying to blend in, so they put an old sofa on the front porch.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/26)

In Arizona, state prisons are charging a $25 fee to visit inmates. It won’t work; if people want to pay money to see a criminal they’ll go to a political fundraiser.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/22)

Green Day’s lead singer said he was kicked off a plane because of his sagging pants. The airline said if they want to see underwear they’ll wait until the baggage guys handle his suitcase.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/21)

A University of Texas professor thinks there should be affirmative action for ugly people. But this time he thinks it should apply to more than just radio personalities.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/20)

Bill Clinton has been publicly talking about his new vegan lifestyle. It takes will power to give up meat; to get through it he reminds himself that it’s an impeachable offense to ever request a thigh or breast.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/19)

Panthers tight end Jermey Shockey saved a choking teammate by hitting him hard in the back. The NFL has already suspended Shockey for 2 games and fined him $10,000.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/15)

Mosquitoes are disappearing in some parts of Africa. Experts believe they were taken out by a S.W.A.T. team.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/14)

Russian engineers revealed plans to build a space hotel 200 miles above Earth by 2016. It costs half a million dollars to stay there, but that includes a free intercontinental breakfast.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/13)

BREAKING: The resignation letter that Apple CEO Steve Jobs submitted is already outdated, so next week he’ll release the iQuit 2.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/12)

Muammar Gaddafi pledged to fight on for years. It’s hard to take him seriously; yesterday he updated his resume on LinkedIn.

Friday, September 09, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/9)

New research indicates that exercising 15 minutes a day can increase life expectancy by 3 years. That’s why Muammar Gaddafi just bought a Shake Weight.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/7)

A recent survey ranked Tiger Woods as the worst celebrity restaurant tipper. He leaves a tip; the problem is that lately it’s been landing in the water

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/6)

Text messaging is still the most popular smartphone app. It’s recommended by 4 out of 5 auto body shops.

Monday, September 05, 2011

The Least You Should Know (9/5)

The Pentagon has a new plane that can fly 13,000 miles per hour. Leave it to Americans to find a faster way to deliver pizza.