Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/30)

New York was voted as the city with the most aggressive drivers. That place has more lead feet than a prosthesis manufacturer in China.

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/29)

An 84-year-old Polish woman woke up in a hospital morgue after being declared dead by her doctor. While she was there she somehow cast a vote in the Minnesota senate race…

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/25)

President Obama wrote a note for a girl to excuse her from school while she attended his Green Bay town hall meeting. After bailing her out he put a cap on her weekly allowance.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/24)

A California woman filed a law suit because her Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries didn’t contain real berries. Some cannibals tried this once when they ate sloppy joes…

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/23)

Starbucks double-charged some customers over Memorial Day weekend. People were paying way too much for their coffee, and then this happened.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/22)

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan led a protest near the home of George W. Bush. They didn’t have a permit; evidently, they also didn't have access to the November election results.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/18)

Colorado is seeing more Amish migrate from the east coast. A horse and buggy won’t pollute the air, but it’s wise not to step in the exhaust.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/17)

Kim Jong Il named his son as his successor. It’s not easy replacing a communist dictator, but his son has experience drawing up cell phone contracts.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/16)

Some economists say shoe sales are an economic indicator. If shoes are selling it means the economy is good. Or George Bush is speaking.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/11)

Sources say Susan Boyle lashed out at people in profane-laced tirades a couple of weeks ago because she was under so much pressure. That or she’s working on a rap album.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/10)

Carnival Cruise Lines hosted over 2,000 mostly female passengers on a 3-day cruise with the New Kids on the Block. There’s one ship that's safe from pirates.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/9)

A clown in West Virginia was arrested for alleged drunken driving. Police are still questioning the other passengers in the car. All 87 of them.

Monday, June 08, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/8)

Britain's military might allow female soldiers to fight on the front lines. Some women are already training in the United States at Wal-Mart.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/4)

The I.R.S. will hire about 8,000 people this year to do audits. Evidently President Obama is looking to fill a cabinet position.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/3)

A Pennsylvania middle school expelled a student for having an eyebrow trimmer. Homeland Security also determined that she’s a threat to Andy Rooney.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/2)

NASA hopes the fixed Hubble telescope will provide secrets to the universe. If that doesn’t work they’ll just ask Joe Biden.

Monday, June 01, 2009

The Least You Should Know (6/1)

Contestants in a Belgium bodybuilding competition scattered when doping officials arrived. They got there just in time; a baseball game was about to break out.