Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's Either This or a Runaway Toyota (The Least You Should Know 3/31)

India’s military has a crowd control grenade that’s packed with seeds from the world’s hottest chili pepper. It scatters people faster than an I.R.S. agent at a Tea Party convention.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Don't Forget to Floss (The Least You Should Know 3/30)

SeaWorld's whale that killed an employee last month has a new customized toothbrush. It was due for a new one; dentists suggest replacing it after 2 or 3 trainers.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I Told You I Was Sick (The Least You Should Know 3/29)

A company in Phoenix has created a talking headstone. You record a message so people can hear your voice from the grave; it’s how CNN does Larry King’s show.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Whale I'll Be Darned (The Least You Should Know 3/25)

A California restaurant accused of selling whale meat is closing. Nobody believed the chef's claim that it was a whale substitute called I can’t Believe it’s Not Blubber.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Office Hothead (The Least You Should Know 3/23)

An exorcist said the devil is at work in the Vatican. Wow. Those E.O.E. laws are really getting strict.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nomar Leaves the Yard (The Least You Should Know 3/18)

Nomar Garciaparra inked a 1-day contract with Boston so he could retire as a member of the Red Sox. Out of habit they put him on the disabled list.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lil' Wayne in the Big House (The Least You Should Know 3/17)

Rapper Lil’ Wayne was sentenced to one year in prison. English teachers say it’ll be the first sentence he’s completed in years.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Obama's Citizenship (The Least You Should Know 3/16)

Two days after Barack Obama’s doctor cautioned him about his cholesterol the President was seen eating fried chicken. It should remove any doubt Obama is an American.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/15) Starbucks: coffee, scones, clay pigeons

Starbucks instituted a policy that allows guns in their stores, so please be clear when you tell the barista you want an espresso shot.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/11)

Last week Dr. Seuss fans marked the 106th anniversary of his birth. Nobody was better at making up funny-sounding words, except maybe George W. Bush.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/10)

Doctors want standard colon screenings to explore deeper into the colon. That explains all the new people being hired by the I.R.S.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/9)

GM's deal to sell the Hummer brand to China fell apart, which likely means the deal was made in China.

Monday, March 08, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/8)

Seaworld’s killer whale was involved with 2 deaths before the one two weeks ago, yet they didn’t set it free. At least somebody learned a lesson from the O.J. trial.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/4)

A California man was hit by a train twice within 2 weeks. And yet he’s still had a better month than the president of Toyota.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/3)

Marijuana use is up among senior citizens. And so is the average time of their bingo games.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/2)

A woman in Sweden allegedly taped pictures of her ex-boyfriend's private parts on light posts around town. Neighbors thought a politician was missing.

Monday, March 01, 2010

The Least You Should Know (3/1)

Toyota placed ads in U.S. newspapers with an open letter from their president. He mentioned how successful Toyota is; nothing else works but at least their horn still toots.