Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/31)

To save money the U.S. Agency for International Development will start buying condoms from China. That should go over like a lead balloon.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/30)

A Dallas high school allegedly forced students to settle disputes in bare-fisted steel cage matches. It's part of the district's program that prepares children for Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/26)

A North Carolina woman claims her dog ate $400 in cash. The dog maintains his innocence, but the evidence is piling up.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/25)

Research suggests that having a positive attitude helps people live longer. That explains all of the Tony Robbins books being sent to Bernie Madoff.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/24)

Historians are saying some of the auctioned items that reportedly belonged to Gandhi may not be authentic. Specifically, his laptop.

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/23)

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented Russia with a novelty button that was supposed to read “reset,” but it translated to say “overcharge.”

They should’ve let Bill do this project; he’s the expert with buttons.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

More Breadsticks and Humility Please

I haven't written for a week. Our little spring break getaway provided some introspection. We went to Denver so Brandon could see a professional basketball game, but instead settled watching the Nets play the Nuggets. It was a 25-point blowout for the home team.

Anyway, the trip became one of the most memorable our family has taken. Aside from the lobby of the Wingate being occupied with police when we checked in, it began as your average vacation. Later, as Emma took her nap in the room we debated for the better part of an hour on a place to eat dinner. As the head of the house, and a good coin flipper, I chose the Olive Garden.

Our waitress was busy, which meant the service was slow. Dinner was strung out longer than necessary, but we laughed and had a good time listening to Emma sing. It was time to get our bill and leave. I imagine that's what the people around us also thought, but we hadn't seen our waitress for so long we wondered if her shift was over. Then, she appeared, searching for words and said, "Folks, the gentleman at the table over there picked up your bill, so you're good to go."

We were stunned. A man and woman sat about 10 feet from us. After we figured out a tip, I slowly approached their table. Neither one looked up. I stood gazing from one to the other like I was watching a tennis match. Finally, the lady looked up with tears in her eyes and said, "He didn't want you to know."

I turned back to him and extended my hand with a simple "Thank you." He tried to fight back tears and slowly shook my hand, "Just take care of your family." By now Melissa and the kids were behind me saying thanks. The woman reminded Melissa how blessed we are. Knowing they didn't want any more attention, we walked away.

It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. It also had an impact on my 9-year-old son; later that night in a Wal-Mart parking lot he walked over to a lady struggling to load some storage containers into her car and volunteered to help.

He took the lead. As the cowards in Washington tell us who is deserving and who should be punished for succeeding too much, they dismiss the virtues with which God graced humanity -- kindness, compassion, and honor.

Our country didn't fall into chaos overnight. It happened one selfish act at a time. We can reclaim greatness by moving outside of ourselves and serving others.

And we can begin right now.

The Least You Should Know (3/19)

President Obama reportedly goes everywhere with his teleprompter. Last week Michelle got out of bed for a glass of water and bumped her head on the healthcare speech.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/12)

The State Department is advising college students to avoid Mexico on spring break. It’s because of the lawlessness and drugs; and it's pretty bad in Mexico too.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/11)

Wheel of Fortune just celebrated its 5,000th episode. Pat Sajak has sent almost as many people to resort hotels as an AIG employee retreat.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/10)

A woman in Britain holds a world record with 6,000 piercings. She has more holes in her than a Will Ferrell movie plot.

Monday, March 09, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/9)

A new survey shows that nearly half of Americans are worried about losing their jobs. The other half doesn’t half to worry about it any more.

Friday, March 06, 2009

PM Brown Faces Late Fees on Obama DVD’s

WASHINGTON -- British Prime Minister Gordon Brown faces a late fee for not returning a set of 25 DVD’s to the White House.

“I thought they were a gift from President Obama,” Brown told a group of reporters.

The Prime Minister apparently thought he could keep the movies. On Brown’s first trip to Washington since the president took office he gave the Obamas several historical gifts. The U.S. Commander-in-Chief seemed to reciprocate by presenting Mr. Brown with a set of 25 classic American movies.

However, Friday afternoon he discovered they were loaners. Brown received a call from Vice President Joe Biden warning him to return the DVD’s.

“He said if I don’t return them today he will charge me a late fee for keeping them past the 24-hour rental period. I told him I really meant to watch the movies that Americans hold so close to their hearts. Now I’m disappointed because I’ve heard so much about Dude, Where’s My Car.”

Biden defended the call. “Everybody needs to pay their fair share. It’s the British Prime Minister’s patriotic duty to pay these late fees.”

President Obama supports the policy decision. “Remember, this is a new era of responsibility.”

Thursday, March 05, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/5)

A Utah man discovered 35 pounds of marijuana stashed in the fuel tank of his new car. It explained why the fuel gage didn't work, and also why the car never started before noon.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/4)

A couple in Idaho got married at a funeral home. It was destiny; the bride’s dad said they’d get married over his dead body.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Least You Should Know (3/3)

Tiger Woods returned to golf last week. It’s been awhile; the last time he golfed Michael Phelps was setting gold records and the Dow Jones was high.