Monday, February 27, 2006

Maybe I'll Get a Second Opinion

I’ve thought about Wal-Mart more in the last week than I have in a year. Besides making a push to open a financial branch, last week Wal-Mart reported that they will open medical clinics in some of their larger stores. No appointment needed. People can pay under $50 and Dr. Wal-Mart will address minor health issues for people with colds, rashes, and those who don’t ask for help with items on the top shelf.

It sounds good, but I’m still a little uneasy at the thought of going to a Wal-Mart clinic. I’ve thought about this, and you know you should avoid a Wal-Mart doctor if:
• You have the option of putting a prostate exam on layaway.
• The tongue depressors are taken from a kid eating fudgesicles in the freezer section.
• The doctor says, “Now hold still while I check your reflexes with Sam’s club.”
• All stitches are sewn in the pattern of a yellow smiley face.
• You hear a patient ask the doctor, “Didn’t you sell me a sprinkler last week in Lawn and Garden?”

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Only You Can Prevent Walmart

It’s amazing how many people claim to hate Walmart. Everywhere I go people have an opinion on how negative it is to the United States. If so many people think Walmart is evil, presumably they won’t shop there. Nobody would work there. Then how did it get so freaking big?
One guy told me he had to shop there because Walmart closed down the locally-owned competitor. Really? Walmart closed them down? I missed the part where Walmart execs rushed into the competitor’s store with guns-a-blazing and forced them to close. Could it be that enough consumers chose to shop at Walmart? It could be because of lower prices, better selection, or the smiley face stickers. Whatever the reason, Americans have spoken, and Walmart is king! Success in the marketplace is based on how well the consumer is served. Remember, corporations don’t kill businesses, people kill businesses.

Friday, February 17, 2006

We Need a Bigger Buzz

I read where Coca Cola announced that next year it’s launching a coffee-infused Coke drink. This coming from a company that makes a drink called MelloYello. They say that the new drink will target adults. Apparently it will also target those wanting to swim the English Channel. For the life of me I can’t remember being around somebody and hearing them say, “You know what would make this drink better? Coffee!”