Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/31)

A recent report found that nearly 80 percent of U.S. children under age 5 use the Internet at least once a week. At least now we now who brings common sense to the comments section of political blogs.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/30)

A marketing company created a Charlie Sheen-inspired energy drink that comes in an I-V bag. Like Charlie Sheen, it may only be available for a limited time.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/29)

Starbucks is being sued because their tip jar invites criminal activity. But so do their prices.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/24)

The earthquake in Japan accelerated the Earth’s spin and shortened the day by a millionth of a second. So I guess I won't have time to exercise.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/23)

The jewelry store Lindsay Lohan stole the necklace from is trying to sell the surveillance video. Nobody cares; if people want to see a robbery in progress they’ll watch C-Span.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/22)

Female membership in the NRA is up 20 percent. Coincidently, there’s also been a decrease in the number of Justin Bieber jokes.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/21)

Mazda is recalling 52,000 sedans because spiders built nests in the fuel systems. On the bright side, the cars apparently have plenty of leg room.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/17)

To attract adult customers, McDonald’s is moving away from being associated with Ronald McDonald. He’ll still get attention because the media loves clowns; just ask Charlie Sheen.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/16)

For the first time in 30 years the Army is changing its fitness test. The training will be more like combat, so soldiers will have to enter a crowded store the day after Thanksgiving.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/15)

This season American Idol started online voting. Each contestant is evaluated by millions of people; the only person to have more judges is Lindsay Lohan.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/14)

Planters has created an eco-friendly car they call the Nutmobile. There’s only one Nutmobile in the world, if you don’t count any car driven by Muammar Gaddafi.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/10)

Over the next several years Dunkin Donuts plans to open 500 stores in India. So now it looks like the U.S. is outsourcing police officers.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/9)

There’s outrage over news that half of America’s cats and dogs are overweight. It’s a matter of prospective; in this country it’s a tragedy, but in others it’s a value meal.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/8)

President Obama said the U.S. needs to improve its math and science education. He gave us a pass on spelling, since even Muammar Gaddafi spells his name 5 different ways.

Monday, March 07, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/7)

Wal-Mart stock holders are watching closely to see if sales will turn the corner. If they expect anything to turn, you can bet it won’t be in a Wal-Mart shopping cart.

Friday, March 04, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/4)

Unrest in the Middle East is causing the price of oil to soar. It’s not any better in the U.S; in Wisconsin the price of Cheese Whiz is up to $97 a barrel.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/2)

The Clippers’ Blake Griffin won the NBA dunk contest by jumping over a KIA. It was a first, because no NBA player has ever been that close to a KIA.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Least You Should Know (3/1)

A Vermont woman has been crowned the nation's top grocery bagger. She filled 3 bags in 38 seconds, just beating Lindsay Lohan’s security camera performance.