Tooth Fairy to Charge Fee for Tooth Disposal

In step with a slowing economy and environmental concerns, the Tooth Fairy announced he/she will be charging a fee for disposing of lost baby teeth.

"I've been doing this for hundreds of years. My garage is getting full," said the Fairy via cell phone at a Rangers-Bruins hockey game.

"I like teeth. I really do. But we can't just have them piling up. I have storage units all over the world. Do you know what those things cost each month?"

More than just economics, however, the decision is about an awareness that the general public has about the environment. "The government is coming down with new policy and I have to address it. I'm kind of like the city landfill. Without the bulldozer and sludge."

"I also think this will slow some people who think they're fooling me, like that old man from Florida who tried to cash in on his wife's dentures. Then there was that boy Lefty, from Oklahoma I think, who pulled a tooth from his dog."

The new disposal fee is a switch for children, whom traditionally get money in exchange for a lost tooth placed under their pillow. It's a tradition carried over from the Old World, and for years it generated income for early pioneers in North America. Not only did they have larger families than today, but research also shows they had bad teeth.

The Tooth Fairy is sad that the new policy will eliminate middle-of-the-night prowling in homes worldwide, but also feels the disposal fee is for the best. "It's like having a root canal. Sure it hurts, but you still have that giggly feeling."

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