Balloon Boy Responder Increases Shovel Sales

Fort Collins, CO – The emergency responder who used a shovel to beat up a 6-year-old’s grounded balloon is being credited for rising shovel sales.

Millions across America watched dramatic live video of Falcon Heene’s homemade flying saucer balloon float down in a field. Before checking for the boy, an unknown official quickly approached the aircraft and started beating it with a shovel.

America is apparently showing frustration at being punked by taking its own shovel beating approach. “I was mad at first because I thought the boy would get hurt by the shovel. But when he wasn’t in there I was like, ‘Kill the balloon!’” said daycare provider Cindy Morris.

IT worker Jim Billings was so upset he wanted to destroy any balloon he saw. “I wasted an afternoon watching that stupid balloon. So I did what I could. I bought four new shovels and went to a kid’s birthday party.”

In addition, the drama is quickly becoming a positive story for the economy. The White House recently announced several new shovel-ready jobs.