Saturday, July 08, 2006

Weekly Review 7/8/06

  • The Yankees lost to the Indians, 19-1, on George Steinbrenner’s birthday. Apparently there was some confusion when he told his team to celebrate and get bombed.

  • In Britain, a new contraceptive is being developed to control the grey squirrel population. Once the product is on the market, the squirrels will use it to educate Brittany Spears.

  • Enron founder Kenneth Lay, convicted in May of defrauding investors, died Wednesday of a heart attack. Prosecutors are stunned that Lay had a heart.

  • A security guard at the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant was so absorbed in playing a hand-held video game that he failed to see an inspector approach during a surprise inspection. The inspector was reassured after learning the guard has worked there 27 years and literally has grown eyes in the back of his head.

  • At a Sydney, Australia, jail five inmates rushed a guard and ran for freedom when she opened the cell door to give them some toilet paper. After being captured the inmates claim they weren’t escaping, but just had the runs.

  • I hooked up the voice activated TV remote I got for Father’s Day. If I snore it changes the channel to Lifetime.

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