Thursday, February 08, 2007

Congress to Tax Homework

WASTHINGTON -- In a bold initiative to balance the budget, Congress is seeking to increase revenue by taxing homework on America’s school children.

“It just seems to fit,” said one senator from North Carolina. “This is America, and everybody who works has to pay their share of taxes. Why should young people be any different? Work is work.”

The bill is a bipartisan attempt by Congress to show America that the two parties can get along. The premise is that tax dollars generated by homework would allow schools to be self-sustaining, therefore allocating grownup taxes to important areas.

Another congressman spoke on the condition of anonymity: “This is an important issue according to this week’s CNN/Gallop poll, and we won’t stop until this piece of legislation passes, or until the polls change—whichever comes first…wait, are you recording this?”

The bill is greatly anticipated by Katherine Bond, a South Dakota mother who home schools her seven children. “Yes, of course we’re in favor of this legislation. With the additional money our school generates we’ll be able to vacation more. Sometimes we’ll even take our children.”

Others, however, are showing great concern if the legislation passes. “I would have to get a job so I could afford to pay taxes on my homework,” lamented a little boy simply known as ‘Johnny.’

“Of course, I’ll pay taxes on the money I get from my job. But how could I go to school if I’m working to pay taxes? Man, I have too many distractions. This is why I can’t read.”

Johnny and others will have a chance to voice their concern during a legislative hearing in Washington, for those able to find it on a map. No date is set for the hearing but will likely occur before school gets out.
**this article is also posted at

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