Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I Have a Frog in My Throat

A line that has stuck with me since I was a kid comes from the famous philosopher Balki Bartokomous, from the ABC (hit?) show Perfect Strangers. To verbalize his shock, Balki said, “Well paint me green and call me Gumby!” Yah, okay, so you had to see it to appreciate the humor. It’s a dumb line. But think about some other strange phrases in the American lexicon.

I’d like to be a fly on the wall to hear that conversation.” If you have magical powers that enable you to make yourself into a fly, why not just turn yourself into an invisible person?

“People are in shock after the untimely death of Kirby Puckett.” Um, isn’t everybody’s death untimely? Well, maybe not people on death row. You rarely read about the untimely death of somebody in the electric chair.

“He’s getting a taste of his own medicine.” Who’s medicine has he been tasting before now?

“That’s easy—like shooting fish in a barrel.” Exactly what kind of fish are those? That line most likely was created by the same redneck who said…

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” The motto of taxidermists and rottweilers.

“After the funeral he was laid to rest in the cemetery.” My guess is that he was resting before arriving at the cemetery.

“She’s calling it quits.” Her resignation letter simply said, “It’s quits.”

“Let’s get together and we’ll shoot the bull.” What did the bull do to you?

Those are just a few. You’ve probably had it up to here, so that’s all she wrote!

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