Friday, August 18, 2006

Book Him

John Mark Karr says he killed JonBenet Ramsey. I believe him. Police refer to him by all three names. Before now his name was John Karr. Now he's a three-namer. It’s how police let these disturbed people know they’re in it deep. It’s reminiscent of all childhoods—including bad guys. “Lee Harvey Oswald you get away from the window right now!...And stop shooting at the ice cream truck!”

Using the trifecta is a must for famous killers. Mark David Chapman, Lee Harvey Oswald, Orenthal James Simpson, and John Wayne Gacey were two-namers until they broke the law. Now the law is coming after Mr. Karr, waving a death certificate with ample white space. Case closed.

UPATE: Every possible news outlet provided around the clock coverage about this guy. Saddam's trial started late because he refused to leave his cell until Nancy Grace was over. I've changed my mind; Karr didn't commit this crime. JonBenet would have beat him into a soft, mushy pulp.

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