Friday, August 25, 2006

Weekly Review 8/25/06

  • Scientists suggest that pollution is causing the genitals of artic polar bears to shrink. However, a Congressional investigation reveals that the shrinkage is from the bears’ extensive use of steroids.

  • An Arkansas woman unknowingly ran over her drunken husband as he slept in the driveway. Paramedics say he was smashed.

  • Britney Spears upset Jessica Simpson because she refused to let Simpson kiss her pregnant tummy at the Teen Choice Awards. As a consolation Kevin Federline said Simpson could kiss his belly.

  • Because of a change in terminology, astronomers say they now recognize only 8 planets in the solar system after they struck Pluto from the list. Fortunately, Uranus will not be struck. (nor will our juvenile jokes about our favorite planet)

  • Washington University reports that Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols passed a series of physical reaction tests with the same results as tests taken by Babe Ruth. In a related study, Barry Bonds had the same test results as Seabiscuit.

  • The owner of a Bombay, India, restaurant named after Adolf Hitler agreed to change the name after meeting with members of the Jewish community. It's now called Gibson's Grill.

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